“But most importantly, try to surround yourself with people you like, and make cool stuff with them.”

Sometimes I feel like a directionless lump. Sometimes that doesn’t bother me. Let’s face it, it’s pretty nice to feel obligation-free; it’s even better when you’ve got some spare Community episodes up your sleeve, or a not-recently-enough-re-read John Green book lying around. But sometimes it gets scary. Sometimes it’s more than just wanting to take a break, or be lazy for an hour or ten. In fact, I would contest that lumps, if they were indeed sentient beings, would benefit from doing something about the guilt of doing nothing, that creeping, lumpy feeling that time’s-a-wasting.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this. It’s sounding a fair bit darker and a whole lot incoherent-et than I intended, so I’d better get back on track. I guess all that I’m trying to say is that I’ve been feeling a little lost since I left school. The floodgates have finally opened and this big fish is being put back in his place, only just managing (for now) to stay ahead of the net. But it’s time to make a change! Or a chang.

(I really ought to decide what it is I actually want to say, rather than trying to wing it as I go, oughtn’t I?)

Basically I’ve been flip-flopping around. Arts advanced is a whole new kettle of fish, and I don’t think I’m currently up to scratch. Commerce should be a nice change of stream. Faster? Slower? Warmer? Colder? Gulf-ier? I don’t know. I suppose I’ll find out next semester. (I’m not trying to be cryptic, I swear!)

Here, have a video to make up for it. Maybe I’ll be ready to speak a bit more clearly tomorrow (oh Mothers’ Day. I probably should’ve gotten a card).

oh heck, have another one. just ‘cos it’s Mothers’ Day eve. Vive le Hallmark Holiday!

 

Please take the message of this post from the quote (unattributed, sorry John!) and the videos, not my words. Please?

Thank you, thank you very much.

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3 comments
  1. the weather underground said:

    just a comment to say that I think what you are going through is entirely normal. in fact it’s probably a good thing. the fact that you’re worried you’re being a “directionless lump” is a testament to the fact that you are worried that you’re not making the most of life. however you’ve gotten to the stage where the worry is not just fuelling your motivation, but is crippling you. take it in your stride, forgive yourself for the past couple of months and head into commerce with a clear sense of what you want to get out of it and what you’re going to do to get it. also the title of your post – that’s important.

  2. You’ll figure it out, man; this is what uni’s all about, at least for us confused people ^^

  3. alexy01 said:

    thank you, both of you. if I may be so bold, for me you’re both part of the quote/title thing *cue sentimental aww*

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